The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Richard Pryor (1983)

Source:The New Democrat  

As far as Richard Pryor’s drug abuse, I and millions of his fans are glad he finally got off of illegal narcotics in the 1980s or so. Just wish he did it a lot sooner and perhaps he’s still alive today. Because narcotics can really mess you up (to put it lightly) and turn genius’ and people with good intelligence into morons. Because of all the brain cells that you end throwing away and not even donating them so perhaps some other moron can use them and no longer be a moron. But literally throwing them away like they are garbage.

Illegal narcotics and legal narcotics, damn that’s a heavyweight combination of destruction for you. Sort of like a tank with nuclear weapons, that could go 0-60 in seven seconds or something. (That vehicle is being made in Hollywood as we speak) I mean if you’re not a fan of sanity and you think reality is simply too tough for you, drink alcohol until you put some local tavern out business because they are completely out of alcohol. Or go to a local liquor store and buy everything they have and then drink everything and that will take care of your reality problem for you. Because reality would have left the building and flown to Europe or some place. Leaving you to see sounds and hear colors and believe a killer tomato is trying to kill you.

Anyone thinking life is too tough and entertaining suicide, give drunk driving a shot and that will take care of your problem for you. Assuming you don’t screw that up, because now you’re drunk and weren’t very successful sober, so how you supposed to pull off drunk driving drunk. You may not make it to the car and end up in jail or something because you thought the seventy-year old bartender was grabbing your ass. And you took a swing at him and hit the young stud bartender instead and he beat the hell out of you and you both ended up in jail. Or since you’re now drunk, perhaps you forgot about the drunk driving part or ended up in a cab going home.

I have a full-proof plan of how to avoid divorce in life. Don’t get married, seriously it works every time. I mean how many divorce men you know who have never been married. Now you might know a drunk who says they’ve never been married, but divorced five times. But why take the word of a drunk. I know what you’re thinking right, “too simple, how come I never thought of myself. Now I’ve been married five times and have fifteen kids and paying alimony and child support to all five of my ex-wives”. Trust me it works and just a little common sense for anyone intelligent enough to understand it.