The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Burt Reynolds (June, 1986)

"Burt Reynolds Saws Johnny in Half | Carson Tonight Show. Original Airdate: June 06, 1986" 

Source:Johnny Carson enjoying Burt Reynolds magical appearance on his show. (Pun intended)

From Johnny Carson

So Burt comes out and they're just telling each other "how good is it to see each other", etc and Johnny tells Burt: 

"We've known each other what 20 years? You come out here and you have nothing to plug: no movie, no album, TV show, etc", 

and Burt says: "That right there tells you my career is insufficient". 

And Johnny says: "Well put". 

And Burt says: "That's all right. I'm here because I want to be here". 

So this small talk right here (or is that small chat?) reminds me of an interview that Johnny Carson did of comedian Steve Martin back in 1978: 

"Steve Martin tells Johnny Carson he has to leave on “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson” in 1978. One of the funniest moments on the Johnny Carson show! More Steve Martin on Johnny Carson’s show". 

When the fact is, Steve Martin has nowhere else to be that night: 

Doesn't have a hooker waiting to see him

Doesn't have to meet his drug dealer

Doesn't have to meet with lawyer to talk about his latest divorce or paying off his latest mistress, etc. He has nowhere else to be. Steve Martin could've jumped in the Pacific Ocean that night and tried to swim to Hawaii from California and no one in the world would have missed him... according to Steve Martin. (And I'm having a little fun with this) So why not just hang out with Johnny Carson and just kill time? 

And you can see the whole skit with Martin and Carson on The New Democrat

And then Burt was telling Johnny about turning 50 years old and he said: "And when I turned... 50" and he said it really softly 

And Johnny replies: "I didn't hear that. 

With Burt replying: "I know. Because when you get as old as you, you can't here". 

As I said on Tuesday right here: 

"I swear if Burt Reynolds didn't act full-time, he would've been a full-time standup comedian and probably 1 of the best ever, who would do comedy films, or action/comedy films, perhaps just as research for his own standup material, or just for the hell of it. He was so quick that when you put him on Johnny Carson (who was a full-time comedian) and Burt becomes the comedian and can make Johnny Carson look as straight and stiff Ted Koppel anchoring ABC News Nightline.". 

From The New Democrat

Burt comes on Carson with no script and no material to work with, comedically and he just goes off of what Carson is asking him and talking to him about and Burt Reynolds who was never a full-time standup comedian and perhaps never did standup at all, becomes the comedian on the show and Johnny becomes the straight journalist. That's how quick and funny Burt Reynolds was. 

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The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Burt Reynolds (November, 1986)

"Johnny Carson 1986 11 05 Burt Reynolds" 

Source:Stand Up Comedy with a look at The Tonight Show With Burt & Johnny.

From Stand Up Comedy

"JOHNNY CARSON INTERVIEW BURT REYNOLDS Nov 05 1986l" 

Source:ZANY with a look at The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson.

From ZANY

I swear if Burt Reynolds didn't act full-time, he would've been a full-time standup comedian and probably 1 of the best ever, who would do comedy films, or action/comedy films, perhaps just as research for his own standup material, or just for the hell of it. He was so quick that when you put him on Johnny Carson (who was a full-time comedian) and Burt becomes the comedian and can make Johnny Carson look as straight and stiff Ted Koppel anchoring ABC News Nightline. 

There were a couple good Burt jokes in particular from this interview that I want to mention and 1 more that wasn't showed here: 

Johnny Carson was talking about mid-life and how 50 is viewed as mid-life (when it's actually mid to late 30s when people start entering that part of their life) and he was just boring Burt to death to the point where Burt had nothing to say about that. (I guess Burt Reynolds doesn't talk in his sleep) But Burt finally jumped in perhaps only to try to get Johnny to talk about something else: 

"I don't worry about mid-life. I don't get panicky and go out and buy a sports car." 

I'm willing to be that Jay Leno probably owns more sports cars today, than Johnny Carson ever had. But Carson owned a lot of sports cars and bought all of them as a middle-age man and he's 61 at this point. So that's what that joke was about. First rule in comedy: if you have to explain a joke, the joke is not funny, or no one got it. But just for the 5 people who see this who are not familiar with Johnny Carson, that explanation is for you. 

The 2nd joke was about Burt Reynolds and marriage. He was only married once at this point in his life (which at the time might have been an unbreakable record for fewest marriages in Hollywood) and Johnny asked Burt about marriage and Burt said: 

"I think about marriage all the time. But then I look at you and I stop thinking about it". 

Johnny Carson was married 4 times in his life. His first 3 marriages bombed as badly as a Kanye West concert in West Virginia, or a Tim McGraw concert in Compton, California. His last marriage was pretty successful. Johnny Carson had a pretty good joke about marriage as well: 

"I believe marriage is the most difficult relationship that any person can have. It calls for a lot of tolerance and understanding... and vast sums of money". 

Burt Reynolds had another joke in this interview about Joan Collins, who is also a very funny person in Hollywood. You won't see that here on video. But he was talking about 1 of his movies that I guess didn't go very well and he said something like: 

"This movie was so bad and in theaters for such a short period of time, that 1 of Joan Collins marriages was out longer". That paraphrase is probably a bit of stretch, but it was about her and along those lines. 

Burt Reynolds was on Johnny Carson like 60 times (give or take) because he was 1 of Johnny's best guests. He was not just very funny and very honest... when Johnny could get him to talk about anything. And Johnny could try to play a straight journalist and leave the jokes for Burt, which the audience loved. 

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The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Jane Badler in 1985

"It was the 1980’s and i was asked to be on the greatest interview show… The Johnny Carson Show. I was thrilled and a nervous wreck . I bought a Versace dress on credit and drank three glasses of champagne backstage to quell my nerves .. To my left was seated the great singer Tom Jones who I had a mad crush on… i definitely said Actually too many times but hell i was cute and so young !!' 

Source:Jane Badler World

 appearing on The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson in 1985.

From Jane Badler World

Just to give you and idea of what Diana (played by Jane Badler was like... as Jane Badler said so herself, she played a very evil woman: 

Martin: You know Diana, rather than putting Mr. Donovan away, he might prove very useful to us as a convert.

Diana: My instincts tell me he'd be too difficult as a subject. That's why I decided not to bother. Take him to the final area.

Martin: I always thought you thrived on challenges...

Diana: I do, but I like better odds.

Martin: That's curious, I would've have thought you'd find the difficult game far more interesting. But anyway, you're probably right. I don't think even you with all your abilities could ever turn this head of his...

[Turns to walk out of the room]

Diana: Martin wait. Don't take him to the final area just yet... Perhaps I would enjoy the challenge of converting him.

Martin: Well, as you wish Diana.

From IMDB

There are a couple points in this interview that stand out for me. 

1. Johnny Carson was asking about where Jane Badler is from, when she came out to Los Angeles, what's it like meeting new people, etc and Jane talked about that she was on a plane recently and that she likes flying first class and she talked about her recent experiences flying first class. And she said something like: 

"I get really nervous flying. So I like to drink to help calm me down. And when I drink I meet people. And I met a man on the plane and we hit it off (or something to that affect) and we started an affair and moved in together... 

And speaking to Johnny Carson directly: "I like to meet people and have affairs. You like to marry them". Johnny Carson was married 4 times and cheated on his first 3 wives, before he finally settled down. He was also known as a hard drinker, really until the early 1990s when he finally retired from The Tonight Show. So you could call Jane's comment there a slight (if not real) dig at him. 

I don't want t sound a high priest or something, but a good reason not to drink alcohol, is because you don't know who you'll meet, especially when you are intoxicated. Just about anyone can seem pretty attractive, interesting, and intelligent, when they've had a few shots in them. Especially if they weren't feeling very good before the shots.

2. As far as the V TV series, I was like 9 when it went on the air in 1983 or 84 and I remember it fairly well. Friday night, on NBC, I was still too young to go out flying and get drunk and meet strangers. (At least by myself) And Jane Badler's Diana character is by far the most memorable from that mini-series. 

It's not just because Jane plays this gorgeous and yet baby face, evil witch. It's 1 thing for Jason from the Friday The 13th movie series, to be this evil, serial murdering bastard. You expect evil people to look like that. But you have a gorgeous, adorable, brunette, playing a evil woman, who would kill someone for giving them 2 shots of espresso in their coffee, instead of 3. Or being 5 seconds late to pick them up. (Like a so-called reality TV star) And Jane played Diana perfectly.

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The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: George Carson's Last Appearance (May, 1992)

Source:The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson and George Carlin. I'm willing to bet George Carlin is the best comedian to ever appear on TSWJC. I think Richard Pryor would be the other possibility.

"George Carlin Johnny Carson The Tonight Show

Original Airdate: May 13th, 1992" 

From Johnny Carson

At risk of seriously, offending the far-left, especially the WOKE Left to the point that even Seattle would run out of coffee, with all the caffeine and sugar that they would need to get though this: (and that's only assuming any of them ever read this) just imagine George Carlin doing standup comedy today. 

Forget about Bill Maher, George would be the WOKE Left's right-wing boogeyman. 10-12 years ago, Bill Maher was considered a "Progressive" champion because of his soft embraces of socialism and his comedic attacks on the Tea Party in America. And then he expands his attacks against right-wing, religious fundamentalism to not just right-wing, fundamentalist Protestants, but Islamists and Islamism as well. 

Go up to 2014 and now according to the far-left, Bill Maher was no longer a "Progressive" champion and fighter for "real progressive change" in America. He was an Islamaphobe who hated Muslims and Islam,. Hollywood actor/political activist Ben Affleck (key word with Ben Affleck being actor) called Bill Maher a racist, because of his critiques of Islamism. Affleck apparently unaware that Islam is not actually a race. It's just a religion and to a certain extent a culture. 

I believe that's how George Carlin would be viewed by the militant WOKE Left today, as another Bill Maher. They liked George because he made fun of rich people and people he and they view as stupid Americans. Those folks are basically white-collar, suburban, middle class, yuppies, (mostly of European background) that he and the WOKE Left simply referred to simply as "White people". As well as blue-collar Americans, with the same racial and to a certain extent ethnic backgrounds, but with less education and financial security.

But Carlin for me and everyone else who is a champion of free speech and personal freedom in America, (which is basically anyone who is to the right of Che Guevara and his followers) he's a champion of American, liberal democratic values. He made fun of people and things simply because he thought they deserved to be made fun of. He didn't check their ethnic or racial backgrounds and worry about making fun of men or women. Or poll college campuses and coffee houses to see if his material would be acceptable or not. 

George Carlin simply live and experienced American life and told people what he thought about life and the people he saw in it, in a very humorous way. And I think that's why he so well-respected by just about every comedian in America. Why so many comedians look up to him today. At least all the comedians who believe in free speech and personal freedom, who are more than willing to take chances with their comedy, because they're individualists. 

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The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Rodney Dangerfield (1981)

Source:The Daily Review

Every time I hear Rodney Dangerfield talk about his wife I think of the sitcom Married With Children and the marriage between Al and Peggy Bundy. They have two kids as well and that might be the only reason why they stayed married. To hear Al Bundy (played by Ed O'Neal) you would think you were listening to Hot Rod do his standup routine about his wife. But replace Mrs. Dangerfield with Peggy Bundy. They make so many cracks about their wives you would have to think they were drunk when they got married and had kids together. Otherwise why would a sane sober man marry and have kids with a women he doesn't like and isn't attracted to. Unless he's an idiot.

The 'I get no respect' routine is what made Rodney Dangerfield a star. And then add the wife bit and that makes the routine ever better. Because now Rod can say he doesn't even get respect from his wife. Again, how believable this is, you can decide for yourself. Maybe the only reason why Mrs. Dangerfield stayed with Rod is because she rather be with an overweight unattractive successful man, than a handsome well-built loser who can't even hold down a job as a burger flipper at a fast food joint. I mean how hard is it to flip burgers anyway. But perhaps you would have to ask Mrs. Dangerfield that yourself. And she also might show also show you how flip charcoal, I mean burgers as well. But you take away 'I get not respect', what does Hot Rod have going for him. But he played it as well and as long as anyone could.

The Lazy Cow: Rodney Dangerfield's Funniest Jokes Ever On The Tonight Show

Source:The Daily Review

I'm not an expert on Rodney Dangerfield, but I believe this is his best performance on this show. This wasn't an interview at all. Johnny Carson, maybe asked Hot Rod one or two questions. And Rod just did his act with one wisecrack after another. Mostly about his wife and kids which might be why male comedians get married so they can have people they know really well that they can make fun of. Unless they're always on the road and when they're in town they mostly are just hanging out with their mistress and their bastard kids they're keeping a secret in some hell hole of an apartment, its their wife and kids that they know the best.

This wasn't Hot Rod's, 'I get no respect routine.' Where he goes off on some airline for giving his first-class seat away because he was five-seconds late for the flight. Or the great view of the bathroom that he gets when he goes to his favorite restaurant. This was his, 'my wife and kids routine.' Where he goes off on his wife Mary, for sleeping with other guys, because she has to have sex and every time she sees her husband naked she just laughs and can't performed adequately as a result. And his son Joe, for being so dumb and wild that he believes every time Joe goes out he needs a leash. So he doesn't run into doors, because he forgot to open them. And his daughter Sally, who sleeps with her teachers, because she's too dumb to do the work in school. And he did a great job.

The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Shelley Winters (1987)

Source:The Daily Review

If Shelley Winters wasn't the great actress that she was, she probably would have been a standup comedian, or a variety show comedian doing skit-comedy, or a talk show host. She was an enormous talent and personality who had an incredible wit and intelligence. Literally not just one of the best actress's who has ever lived, but one of the greatest personalities and comedians as well. Great entertainer who reminds me a lot of the great Ginger Rogers. As far as an entertainer who combined such great talent for the dramatic, who also had a great personality and was very funny. Who was both very adorable and yet very bright and funny all in the same package.

Johnny Carson, was perfect for Shelley, because he was also very bright and had a very quick off the cuff humor and perhaps shared the exact same sense of humor as Shelley. So they related very well and could make fun of the same things and shared similar experiences. Like being married enough times to produce enough kids to fill up the L.A. Memorial Coliseum. Or both having enough spouses combined (if not by themselves) to fill out an LAPD police lineup. They also knew each other very well. When Johnny was interviewing Shelley Winters, or someone like that, or a Burt Reynolds, Jimmy Stewart, he was interviewing actors who could match him joke for joke and even sound funnier.

The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Jim Garrison (January 31st, 1968)

Source:The Daily Review

I always found it interesting about Jim Garrison and why would a New Orleans District Attorney be investigating the assassination of a U.S. President who was assassinated in Dallas, Texas. Which is about a thousand miles or so from New Orleans. And spend ten years of New Orleans taxpayer dollars on this investigation an investigation that was under the jurisdiction of the Dallas PD and the FBI. And I don't believe Oliver Stone's JFK movie from 1991 which I've seen several times, has ever made that clear. If you want to know why Oliver Stone is such a conspiracy theorist, is because of serious people like Jim Garrison who come up with these incredible theories. Maybe its just me, but you would think a big city District Attorney like Jim Garrison would have enough crime cases of his own to investigate.

The only conspiracy theory that I believe is worth considering, that any serious person with respect on these issues, someone like Robert Blakey, who was the Chief Counsel of the House Assassinations Committee in the late 1970s that looked into the JFK assassination, is the theory involving organized crime. Especially the Italian Mafia in America in Dallas and Chicago in particular. They clearly wanted President John Kennedy killed and would have had the access and power to pull it off. And Lee Harvey Oswald, who wasn't interested in his own personal safety and freedom, would have been the perfect assassin for them. Not saying that the Italian Mafia did have Kennedy assassinated, but they could've done it if they wanted to pull it off. And the Jack Ruby and Lee Oswald connections, I believe give this theory credibility.

I think its obvious that Lee Oswald was the assassin who killed President Kennedy. It was his gun, he worked at the Dallas Book Depository, he had the means, motive, access, he could pull this off and was a good enough shooter to do it. The only question here is did anyone put him up to it. Was this a one-man operation, or were there others involved. Like members of Chicago or Dallas organized crime. Jack Kennedy, had plenty of enemies on the Far-Right in Dallas and perhaps Texas as a whole. The Far-Left especially Communists like Lee Oswald, hated him as well. The Italian Mafia hated Kennedy, because his administration was serious about putting them out of business. After the Mafia helped Kennedy get elected president especially in Chicago in 1960. With all of these factors its hard to believe that one little loser could have pulled off this assassination by himself. Which is how these conspiracy theories come about.

Johnny Carson: 'Best Moments on Politics on The Tonight Show'

Source:Sovereign Rebellion- The King of Late Night Johnny Carson, talking to CBS News's Mike Wallace, on 60 Minutes, in 1979.

Source:The Daily Review 

"Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

In addition, the Center for Media and Social Impact (CMSI) has adopted a set of best practices as it relates to the copyright doctrine of fair use when making online videos. Specifically, any reproduction, reposting, or quoting in order to memorialize, preserve, or rescue an experience, an event, or a cultural phenomenon is an acceptable use of copyrighted material under fair use."   

From Sovereign Rebellion

Source:The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson- President Ronald Reagan and some guy named Jim. LOL

"Johnny Carson's Best Moments on Politics." From Johnny Carson. The video has since been deleted or blocked on YouTube.

I haven't seen them all, but I believe my favorite Johnny Carson political skit is the politician under the lie detector. Because that plays so well with today's American politics and I'm sure it played very well back in 1982 politics when that skit was done. Just imagine how many politicians would disqualify themselves from running for office, or would have to resign from office if they were always under a lie detector every time they spoke in public.

Imagine if politicians had to answer questions in public about their records under a lie detector test and here some examples of what that could be like.

Question- "Senator Jones, why did you vote against the clean energy bill?" Answer-"Because Big Oil told me if I did, they wouldn't bankroll my reelection campaign." Question- "Representative Smith, why did you vote against the middle class tax cuts?" Answer-"Because I believe middle class Americans are too stupid to spend their own money wisely. Besides its not the people's money anyway, but the government's money."

American politicians have a bad habit of promising their constituents things from government that they don't want to ask the people to pay for. Because they know raising revenue, (another way of saying increasing taxes) or moving funds around, (another way of saying cutting popular programs) could cost them politically. So what they say is they'll give people free roads, or education vouchers, free health care, to use as examples instead. The theory being if that government does it then the service is free. But anyone familiar with American politics, Milton Friedman and pays taxes, knows there's no such thing as a free lunch. At least when it comes to government.

Imagine if American politicians were asked to explain how they would pay for their new popular government programs and were under a lie detector and didn't know that.

Question- "Senator Wilson, how do you plan to pay for your national childcare program? Well, with the debt and deficit being as high as it is, we're going to have to increase payroll taxes out of people's paychecks, or ask wealthy people to retire later, or a combination of both." Unless Senator Wilson represents Massachusetts, or Vermont, two states that fills out their taxes with smiles on their faces and actually celebrates National Tax Day and sees it as a holiday, he can probably forget about reelection. Because his opponent would call him a tax and spender. Who thinks Americans are under taxed and that government should take more of their hard-earned money from them.

Lying politicians is as common in America as snow is as common in Canada and socialism is as common in Sweden. If a politician is asked at a party by someone who doesn't know them and has never seen them before, what they do for a living? And the politician tells them I'm a state senator, or U.S. Representative, or something like that, the politician might get a drink thrown in their face. And if the politician happens to be President or Vice President of the United States, the drink thrower would probably get tackled to the ground by a Secret Service agent. And be arrested for being so stupid as to not know who the President and Vice President of the United States are. Well, at least not knowing who the President is. So a full-time lie detector at least for Congress, would throw out a lot of the trash that currently stinks up the House and Senate, because Members of Congress would no longer get away with lying.

The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: 'Ronald Reagan's Funny Trip To California (1989)'

Source:The Daily Review

I think Johnny's best line here was about President Reagan reaching a deal with Random House to write his presidential memoirs and getting a big advance for it. If you're familiar with Ron Reagan's second presidential term and I am even though I was a kid for his entire presidency and had just started junior high when he left office, you know that President Reagan claimed to not remember a lot of key parts of his second term. Iran Contra, being a perfect example of that and claiming if he didn't know if he had agreed to the arms for hostages deal in 1985-86. And his own Vice President, his first officer in his administration, a man who was a very active and responsible VP who was in on everything that the President did, George H.W. Bush, claiming to know nothing about Iran Contra. Even though he was at all the meetings.

Johnny's joke being that, "funny how a big advance from Random House to write your memoirs can jumpstart your memory." In this case the memory about Iran Contra and a lot of the key moments of his second term as president. There are only a few ways this could have gone down. President Reagan, came down with Alzheimer's as President of the United States and that is why he forgot so much about his presidency even as President. And if you believe that I have a ski resort in Los Angeles where they get the best snow that I would like to sell you. President Reagan, was too much of a delegator and not on top of things that we're going on at his National Security Council. Which is very believable. Or of course he knew what was going on the whole time and didn't want Congress to know about arms being traded for hostages in Iran. Because he didn't want to get into trouble for it. Which is also very believable.

A good line Johnny had about Vice President Elect Dan Quayle, who of course was President George H.W. Bush's Vice President. Dan Quayle, was a young U.S. Senator who had only been in Congress for less than twelve years between both the House and Senate by the time Vice President Bush selected him in 1988 and didn't have much a resume before Congress and was 41 at the time, was viewed at the very least by the national media to be not ready and immature and not real bright. He got a bad wrap as being known as an idiot and perhaps immature, but he didn't do much as Vice President to show anyone outside of him that he was up for the second ranking position in the U.S. Government. And Johnny making the crack that Ron Reagan will be having dinner with talk show Merv Griffin. While he will be having finger food at Jack in The Box. (A California fast food joint)

CBS News: 60 Minutes- Mike Wallace Interviewing Johnny Carson (1979)

Source:The Daily Review

The perfect interviewer Mike Wallace interviewing the perfect late show talk show host Johnny Carson in 1979. I can’t think of a better combination here other than maybe Mike Wallace interviewing Cary Grant, or someone like that. I believe Johnny answered the Mike Wallace question of why don’t you take on serious topics. By saying that is not what he does. He’s a comedian and his job was to entertain people and make them laugh. He wasn’t Phil Donahue on the air hosting national town hall everyday. His job was literally make fun of what is going on in the world and have fun with it. He did do political satire and would make fun of what is going on in the news and public officials when they screw up. But again doing it in a humorous way.

Carson, was a comedian first and talk show host second. And what he would do with his talk format would be to question other comedians and entertainers, because again his job was to entertain people. Not to inform then on what is going on in the Middle East, or why stocks on Wall Street are down. And he would even interview politicians and other public officials, but generally those people would have good if not great sense of humor’s as well. People like Ron Reagan, Bob Dole, Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy and they would make fun of politics together and perhaps of each other. I believe Carson was interested in politics and current affairs a lot which is why he did read and watch a lot of news, but he wasn’t going to use his show simply cover the issues of the day. But to make fun of what is going on in the world.

The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Dyan Cannon (1982)

Source:The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson- Hollywood Goddess Dyan Cannon in 1982.

Source:The Daily Review 

“Dyan Cannon (born Samille Diane Friesen; January 4, 1937) is an American film and television actress, director, screenwriter, editor, and producer… 

From Geta Yedi 

Source:The Daily Review- Hollywood Goddess Dyan Cannon, on The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson, in 1982.

Johnny Carson, needed to be careful about having people like Hollywood Goddess Dyan Cannon on his show, because she was probably as quick as he was off the cuff with the humor, or at least in the same ballpark. Who didn’t need a script to crack joke and even do monologue.

And as good as Johnny was at poking fun at famous people and he might be the best comedian ever at doing this, he wasn’t exactly flawless. I mean he was basically the male Liz Taylor when it came to married life. Both when it came to his multiple marriages and divorces. He could write a book literally based on his personal experiences in life of what not to do when it came to married life. And Dyan knew these things and knew him very well.

Late night comedic hosts have to draw a line about who they pick fun at when they have guests on. I mean if they have people on who are experts at screwing up, sure! Making fun of them would be easy, especially if they don’t know how to punch back, or even screw that up. But not many people would want to see that.

But if they go after quick-witted people like a Dyan Cannon who knows the host well and has had her issues in life that could be poked fun at like her multiple marriages and divorces, but can give it back as well then they’ll end up taking clean shots on their own show and perhaps even be put on the defensive.

Johnny Carson, whether they were standup comedians, or not and Dyan’s case, more of a comedic actress with a quick off the cuff humor and great ability to improvise, loved funny people. Which is why having Dyan on his show worked so well.

Johnny, also liked intelligent people and intelligent people who were funny. Frank Sinatra comes to mind, Burt Reynolds would be another one and Dyan Cannon would be close to, or at the top of this list. He would mention things to talk about and generally what was going on in Dyan’s life and what she’s interested in and they would simply talk about like two people who knew each other very well. With no script and would do it in a very funny way that would keep the audience interested and laughing. And even have Dyan with her adorable laugh laughing her head off for most of the interview which is what you see here. Dyan Cannon, was the perfect guest for Johnny Carson, because she kept him on his toes and made him think.

Johnny Carson Standup (1964)

Source:The New Democrat

Not the best Johnny Carson performance I’ve ever heard and I’m a fairly big fan of his. Not his biggest fan or his tallest fan. There are Carson fans who are taller, bigger and stronger than me and I’m a big tall guy at 6’5 220 pounds or so. I sort of got this feeling early on when in this video that Carson’s tank might have been running a little one empty as he was just standing there silent with a smirk for the first ten seconds or so. By the way, Johnny Carson reminds me of George W. Bush as well as GW Bush’s father and the reason he reminds me of GW, is well their faces look very similar to me and they are about the same size. But also they have a very similar smirk. And perhaps Carson made the cracks about the cameras and all of that because he was going off the top of his head without much if any prepared material.

The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Richard Pryor (1977)

Source:The New Democrat. 

Remember my advice about marriage and divorce, I’ll tell you again anyway. Don’t get married if you don’t want to get divorced. Especially don’t get married rich, because you may be poor or middle class by the time you’re divorced. And if you’re dumb or crazy enough to get married rich, but you don’t want to get divorced, at least be smart and sane enough to get married while you’re sober at the same time. So if you’re going to get married, make sure you know who you’re marrying. Make sure you’re intelligent and sane at the time. But this one might also be as important, make you’re also sober.

As far as censorship, imagine had Richard (I’m not Little Dick Pryor) had made it big ten-years later after he did. Why I say that, because by 1977 cable was basically an infant if that. If you had cable back then, probably only shopaholics and movie junkies had it, like wives of rich men to use as an example. Because back then you were looking at maybe the home shopping channels and movie channels as far as what was on cable. Basically Home Box Office and the Home Shopping Channel. Unemployed people who watch too many morning and afternoon movies. And shopaholics, like wives married to rich men.

But lets say Pryor makes it big in the late 1970s or early 1980s. Now if NBC, ABC, CBS or even PBS back then said, “you know what Richard, your act is too radical and your language is too foul for our Ozzie and Harriet Leave it To Beaver trapped in the 1950s audience. We can’t let you do your routine on our network”. Richard could tell the networks, the hell with you! (Or something much stronger) “I’m taking my act (or something stronger) to HBO or Showtime”. Or what have you. But again the smart entertainers know about censorship. And the great ones don’t need TV to be successful anyway.

The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Don Rickles (1983)

Source:The New Democrat  

After Don Rickles essentially going off on one of his crazy tantrums for fifteen-minutes or so, the only thing I got from this, well I got a few things, but Rickles is crazy. Someone spiked his apple juice with scotch, perhaps LSD or something. Or perhaps Rickles spiked his own apple juice with LSD. Johnny Carson was obviously a very patient man, I guess as long as the audience was enjoying Rickles.  

Ed McMahon is obviously the highest paid yes man of all-time. I would argue overpaid, I mean seriously how hard is it to say yes. I mean you don’t even have to speak English to say it. All right fine, Big Ed said, yes! Yeah, fine now I’m impressed and I bet Big Ed could tie his own shoes, which came from all the experience that he tied Johnny Carson’s shoes. But I still think Big Ed was overpaid. And that Don Rickles represents the fact that we don’t have enough people living in mental hospitals.

The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Lauren Bacall (1980)

Source:The New Democrat  

I had an excellent motivation for not skipping school as a student. My father would’ve found out about the day that it happened and would’ve kicked my ass for it. Which meant day after day taking one boring class after another and trying to stay awake the whole time, without any coffee or any caffeine inside of the classroom. Well it wasn’t really all that bad. Some classes I was actually wide awake for. It is kind of hard to fall asleep playing basketball in gym, trust me I’ve tried. But similar to Lauren Bacall, I went to school in order to finish it. And get out of it what I needed to be able to move on. Not to have a good time, even though I managed to do that as well.

As far as Hollywood marriages. Classic case of the career move. “Gee, if I marry Joe or Mary, or at least get seriously involved with them, they’ll introduce me to Tom or Sally and I can get that part in that movie I want to be in and future big roles. And my publicity and reputation will shoot up”. There’s a big reason why half of American marriages end in divorce. One word, Hollywood and it’s probably more like 6-7 out of ten marriages out there that end in divorce. I mean they are all entertainers and have all played the role of husband and wife on the big or small screens and have played those roles in real life as well.

Easy for me to say as someone who is not in Hollywood. But my advice would be for people out there to marry people they are truly in love with and are in love with them. And only marry when those things are there and you want to get married at that point. Because once you get married and you’re still young enough to have kids, kids come next. And you’re responsible for them whether you are in love with the father or mother or not. And now your career move has just become a very complicated life move that you have to deal with.

The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Richard Pryor (1983)

Source:The New Democrat  

As far as Richard Pryor’s drug abuse, I and millions of his fans are glad he finally got off of illegal narcotics in the 1980s or so. Just wish he did it a lot sooner and perhaps he’s still alive today. Because narcotics can really mess you up (to put it lightly) and turn genius’ and people with good intelligence into morons. Because of all the brain cells that you end throwing away and not even donating them so perhaps some other moron can use them and no longer be a moron. But literally throwing them away like they are garbage.

Illegal narcotics and legal narcotics, damn that’s a heavyweight combination of destruction for you. Sort of like a tank with nuclear weapons, that could go 0-60 in seven seconds or something. (That vehicle is being made in Hollywood as we speak) I mean if you’re not a fan of sanity and you think reality is simply too tough for you, drink alcohol until you put some local tavern out business because they are completely out of alcohol. Or go to a local liquor store and buy everything they have and then drink everything and that will take care of your reality problem for you. Because reality would have left the building and flown to Europe or some place. Leaving you to see sounds and hear colors and believe a killer tomato is trying to kill you.

Anyone thinking life is too tough and entertaining suicide, give drunk driving a shot and that will take care of your problem for you. Assuming you don’t screw that up, because now you’re drunk and weren’t very successful sober, so how you supposed to pull off drunk driving drunk. You may not make it to the car and end up in jail or something because you thought the seventy-year old bartender was grabbing your ass. And you took a swing at him and hit the young stud bartender instead and he beat the hell out of you and you both ended up in jail. Or since you’re now drunk, perhaps you forgot about the drunk driving part or ended up in a cab going home.

I have a full-proof plan of how to avoid divorce in life. Don’t get married, seriously it works every time. I mean how many divorce men you know who have never been married. Now you might know a drunk who says they’ve never been married, but divorced five times. But why take the word of a drunk. I know what you’re thinking right, “too simple, how come I never thought of myself. Now I’ve been married five times and have fifteen kids and paying alimony and child support to all five of my ex-wives”. Trust me it works and just a little common sense for anyone intelligent enough to understand it.

The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson, Jack Benny (1973)

Source:The New Democrat. 

As far as fame, I would think someone who would have to be a complete narcissist to not be able to live well without fame. And perhaps narcissist is too polite. Maybe I don’t know jackass or asshole would be more appropriate. I mean if I was in Hollywood, I would probably enjoy the work, assuming I was good at it, (not a safe assumption) but I would probably go crazy without some downtime. Without the ability to get out of the city and just collect my thoughts and regroup for a couple of weeks, without someone recognizing me. But this is speaking as someone who is not famous, so I perhaps I would feel differently otherwise.

Shopaholics, that that’s the ticket for wealthy man. Marry a women who loves to spend other people’s money, especially when they aren’t paying the bills. But what a man does with his wife is his own business and Jack I guess could afford an expensive, high-end wife. Who would perhaps consider it an insult to only be able to shop in Cleveland. And must be able to shop in Paris or Rome, again with someone else’s money, in order to feel loved. But again Jack’s wife and their marriage is their business.

Jack Benny’s best line was the Mark Twain quote about aging. And I’m going to paraphrase here. But he said that if you don’t mind aging, it doesn’t matter. Which means to me that aging like almost everything else has its positives and negatives. The better you age, the better you live. You age and live well by taking care of yourself. You don’t do those things and live may be hell for you and that is when you’re sober. And you’ll become old real fast.

Wayne Barros: Video: NBC's The Tonight Show: Steve Martin Interviewing Richard Pryor in 1978

Sounds to me Steve Martin was going dry trying to interview Richard Pryor on The Tonight Show. And what I mean by that for all of you who just speak English, is that Martin was struggling to think of stuff to ask Big Richard (ha ha) and was having to go off the top of his head. And apparently not having much upstairs to pick from to talk to Pryor about. With Pryor doing the best with what Martin would eventually find to talk to Pryor about. This interview to me is sort of like a blind date involving two people that basically have nothing in common. Perhaps their friends put them together as a practical joke.

Which is strange to me because Steve Martin is obviously not just a very funny man and great comedian, but a very bright guy. Otherwise he wouldn't of gotten the opportunity to fill in for the great Johnny Carson. But this interview to me looks like a couple of complete strangers being forced together and forced to talk to each other like their life depended on it. And they basically get down to "nice weather we're having. Yeah the weather tends to be nice around here in May. What's you favorite color? I had a cold recently, but it wasn't that bad".

But being the two great professionals that they were despite Steve Martin's lack of preparation and homework, (ha ha) I think they did pretty well together, despite the lack of and material and topics they had to work with. Because of Steve Martin not knowing what he was doing in that big chair and perhaps not understanding what the job of the comedic interviewer was. Perhaps The Tonight Show Staff didn't give him the memo, or Steve's dog ate his homework.

The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson: Joan Rivers Standup (1984)

Source:The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson- Joan Rivers standup in 1984.

"Joan Rivers stand-up Tonight Show - hilarious monologue 2 - 1984. Joan guest hosts in 1984."

From Musical Atmosphere

Speaking of annoyances in life, how about Joan Rivers. After listening to that performance (the whole damn thing, by the way) I feel like I just got back from a Judas Priest heavy metal concert. And I was not only in the first row, but right in front of the speakers listening for two-hours straight. Looks like I'm going to the ear-doctor tomorrow, because I can't even hear myself think. So if this post sounds strange it is because I might not know what I'm saying, because I can't even hear myself think. Joan was very funny, but her act was loud (to put it mildly) that is just sort of how she spoke to people and performed.

As far as what Joan was talking about: filthy people, who likes filthy people especially if they live right next door to you, or worst even in your home? Wait, I think I got it, filthy people like filthy people. Could you imagine a filthy person getting on someone for being filthy? That would be like an alcoholic getting on someone who smokes too much. It would be a little hard to put up with without making fun of a the tiny hypocrisy there. But the part of that is funny, is that she also doesn't like to clean, but with the money she had, she probably had her own cleaning crew. So it worked out for her.

Joan doesn't like cooking, so I guess going to her place for dinner meant bringing your own food. Unless she ordered out for both of you, or perhaps had her cooking staff prepare a meal for you. 

Aging, you know this is going to sound as obvious as saying when you jump in a lake, you're going to get wet and perhaps will sound easy coming from a guy, especially a guy who is not an athlete or divorced, but if you want to live a long time and I mean really live and not just be alive and do it for a long time, you're going to age. Speaking about facts of life. 

You can also see this post at The Daily Journal, on Blogger.

You can also see this post at FreeState MD, on Blogger.