This piece was originally posted at The Daily Review: Anglophenia: Siobhan Thompson- How to Insult Like The British
I couldn't swear like a Brit to save my life or someone else's, being an American and everything, Being of German background and just outside of Washington in Maryland I have a hard time making my voice sound that snobby and Anglo-Saxon formal. I tend to sound more like I'm from Pittsburgh, or Philadelphia, than Connecticut, or London. If I was told I wouldn't have to die if I could swear just once like a Brit, I would probably ask what's the least painful way you can kill me. But I know how to make fun of the Brits, especially the snobby English who look down at people who drive BMW's as being poor. Since we have so many English-Americans in America especially on the East Coast and in New England.
What can I say about Britain? I hate the food, the weather, the socialism, collectivism in general, their top-down big unitarian London knows best for everyone else in the United Kingdom kind of government. But similar to Ireland, their women sound good and their people are very funny. Watching Prime Ministers Questions is probably as funny as watching Saturday Night Live. Of course SNL has been going downhill since the mid-1990s or so, but PMQ has been going uphill. If American politicians could insult like British politicians, maybe our politicians would be as popular as personal injury attorney's and door to door life insurance salesman. Because the Brits do it in a way where even the person on the other side has to laugh at them self.
Britain, similar to Florida except without the great weather, food, hot Latin women, is a great place to see and visit, but not somewhere I would want to live. But a place where you could have a great time as a foreign visitor and get around, if you can remember the steering wheel is on the right side of vehicle, or I guess machine in Britain. And have a great time laughing even at yourself as an English person tells you how much you suck and makes you laugh in the process. But one of those countries where I think I might try to learn how to swim three-thousand miles back to Washington if I couldn't catch a flight, or boat, perhaps a car that swims, after a few days. Because of the rain and preppy snobby attitude.