The Onion: 'Hillary Clinton To Nation: Do Not Fuck This Up For Me"

Source:The New Democrat

Source:The Onion

I can speak freely about Jack Benny’s famous “I’m always 39″ joke, because I’m actually 39 right now. I have a birth certificate to prove it, that says I was actually born in 1975. Exactly when in 1975, I was born, you have to know me well enough and I have to trust you in order for you to find out. But I would hate to be 39 the rest of my life. Why, because that would mean I would die sometime between now and I next birthday. Imagine having less than a year to live, with still so much you want to do and simply not enough time to accomplish those things before you die.

And as far as aging and this might sound corny. (Gee I hope not) But age is really just a number, seriously, it really is. We now have Americans who are healthy and working and their seventies and eighties. And not all of them are still working because they forgot to save for their retirement, (Gee, it just slipped my mind) or their 401K’s were flushed down the toilet, hopefully accidentally, but because they don’t want to play golf everyday. And even though they love their grandkids, they are glad their kids are already grown up and have moved out. Ao they don’t have to spend so much time with their kids.

We have older Americans in age, who still want to work and are still damn good at their jobs and still very productive. And why are they, because they bothered to take the time to take care of the one person they have the most control over, which is themselves. If you live well, you’ll live well, because you take care of yourself, which allows for you to enjoy life for a very long time. And it gives you a lot more choices as far as what you can do in your senior years. Just relax and enjoy yourself, or do those things as well, but do something else you also enjoy which is working and producing.